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Tuesday, 20 January 2015

0 Sar pakau jokes My friends! !!!

✔ Baith-kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh aaya.. .💏💑👫
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Wah!👏
Wah!👏
Wah!!👏
Wah!!👏
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Baith-kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh aaya... 💑💏👫

Phirrrrr...?

Phir kya.!
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?
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👵Biwi ne dekh liya aur ICU me 👷 👷 hosh aaya... 😩😫😪😭
Ha Ha Ha... 😂😂

✔☝Ek aur...

Aankho mein nami thi,
Aur vitamin ki kami thi..
Wah Wah,

Jis-se raat-bhar chatting ki

Woh Girl-friend ki mummy thi...

✔☝Ek aur...

Koi pathar se na maare
mere dewaane ko...

Nuclear power ka jamaana hai,

Bomb se udaa do saale ko...

✔ Bas☝last...

Tajmahal kya cheez hai,

Is-se achi imaarat banaunga,

Mumtaz to mar-kar dafan hui thi,

Tujhe to main zinda dafnaunga...

✔☝Bas iske baad khatam...

Hasi ke liye gam kurbaan,

Khushi ke liye aansoo kurbaan,

Dost ke liye jaan bhi kurbaan,

Aurr

Agar dost ki girlfreind mil jaye to...

Saala dost bhi kurbaan...
😉😉😉😉😉

✔'("3 Dost")'
😳😁😫
Billu, Gullu & Ulloo...

Billu 😳 B.Sc. mein padh raha hai...

Gullu 😁 M.A. mein padh raha hai...

Aur hamara Ulloo 😩 WhatsApp padh raha hai...

'Haa Haa Haa' 😃😄😀

Hanso mat, mere saath bhi aisa hi hua hai...

Chalo ab tumari baari hai, banao subko Ulloo...🎃

Jaldi-jaldi banao, warna msg aam ho jaayega...😜

0 Wife's Rule husband !!!

Lady frnd:-
How does ur husband come home on time regularly? 😳

Wife- I hav just made a simple rule.. 😜

"Romance will start sharp
@ 9pm,

With u or without u".. 😜😂😝

0 LIfe doesn't gives a 2nd Chance !!!!

👌💗 Heart touching...

It's another morning... Again I have to go to office.

Ohh, this is me. I was surprised to see my snap in the news paper. But what the HELL it is doing in the obituary column?? Strange.

One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.

Its morning now, ohh... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee? I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me. Where is everyone.??? I screamed.

"I saw is a crowd outside my room ‼! Let me check." I said to myself.. So many people... But why are some of them crying. WHAT IS THIS HAPPENING ??? I m lying there on the floor. 

"I AM HERE" . I shouted!!! No one listened.. "LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" . I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me. They all were looking at me on the floor.

I went back to my bed room. 

"Am I dead??" I asked myself.

Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends? 

I found them in the next room, all of them were crying. still trying to console each other.

My wife was crying. she was really looking sad. My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his mom was sad. 

How can I go without saying to my kid that I really love him, I really do care for him. ?? 

How can I go without saying to my wife that she is really the most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..??

How can I go without saying to my parents that whatever I am , I am just because of u ??

How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I would have done most of the wrong things in my life. thanks for being there always when I needed them. and sorry for not being there when they really needed me.. 

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears. Ohh. he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnected. 

I went there.. And offered him my hand, "Dear friend. I just want to say sorry for everything, we r still best friends, please forgive me." 

No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry.. even then!!! I really don't care for such people. 

But one sec.. it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand. My goodness. AM I REALLY DEAD??? 

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying.

"OHH GOD !!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS." I just want to tell my wife, my parents; my friends that how much I love them. 

My wife entered the room, she looks beautiful.. "YOU R BEAUTIFUL" I shouted. She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never said them to her.

"GOD!!!!" I screamed. a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. I cried.

One more chance please. to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my life..

Then I looked up and cried!!!!

I shouted...
 

"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"

"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"
 

I was sleeping .. Ohh that was just a dream ..

My wife was there she can hear me. This is the happiest moment of my life. I hugged her and whispered .. "U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE.. I REALLY LOVE U DEAR"

I could understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes & I was happy..

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE."

 

Ppl, it's not late.. Forget Ur Egos, Past. and Xpress Ur love to others. Be friendly. Keep smiling. for ever... Keep our ego aside and express our love, care, appreciation, friendship, because we don't get a second chance always. Dont regret after the things happen. Always show our love to everyone who are associated with us!!!.

THANK EACH ONE .. for everything

Life is short 
Enjoy it a lot😊

Monday, 12 January 2015

0 Hamare Bharath ki kuch rochak batein !!!

आइये जानें भारत विश्व गुरू क्यों था? १.शतरंज के खेल की खोज भारत मे हुई थी। २.भारत ने अपने इतिहास में किसी भी देश पर कब्जा नहीं किया। ३.अमरिका के जेमोलोजिकल संस्थान के अनुसार 1896 तक भारत ही केवल हीरो का स्त्रोत था। ४.भारत 17वीं सदी तक धरती पर सबसे अमीर देश था इसलिए यह सोने की चीड़ियाकहलाता था। ५.भारत में हीं संख्या पद्धति का आविष्कार हुआ और आर्यभट्ट ने शून्य की कल्पना की। ६.नाविक विद्दा की खोज 6000पूर्व भारत में सिन्ध नदी में हुई थी। ७.विश्व का पहला विश्वविद्दालय तक्षशिला700बीसीमें भारत में स्थापित किया गया था। ८.संस्कृत सभी भाषाओं की जननी है। ९.भास्कराचार्य ने पृथ्वी द्वारा सूर्य का ग्रहपथ का समय ३६५.२५८७५६४८४ दिन पांचवी शताब्दी में हि दिया था यानी न्यूटन के दादा के जन्म से पहले। १०.आयुर्वेद का जन्म भारत में हुआ। ११.अर्थशास्त्र का जन्म भारत में चाण्क्य के द्वारा। १२. विश्व का सबसे पुराना पुस्तक "वेद" भारत मे। १३.मानव जाती का विकाश भारत में। १४. सभ्यता संस्कृति का विकाश भारत में। १५.विज्ञान का विकाश भारत में। १६.वायुयान का आविष्कार शिवकर वापूजी तलपड़े ने 1895 में किया था। १७. पायथागोरस परिमेय का सुत्र उपनिषदों में पाया गया है। १८.बैटरी निर्माण बिधि का आविष्कार सर्वप्रथम महर्षि अगस्त्य ने किया था (अगस्त्यसंहिता ) बेंजामिन फ्रेंक्लिन के जन्म से पहले १९.सबसे पहले व्याकरण की रचना भारत में महर्षि पाणिनी द्वारा २०.लोकतंत्र का जन्म भारत मे २१.सबसे पुराना शहर कशी (भारत) २२.प्लास्टिक सर्जरी का आविष्कारक ऋषि सुश्रुत भारतमें २३. सबसे पुराना धर्म सनातन धर्म भारत में...............................................

Monday, 5 January 2015

0 Aaj ki kavita !!!!!

बगुले की चोंच में हीरा, ऊंट के मुहं में जीरा। बंदरों के पास कार, गधों के हाथ में सरकार।... कैसे-कैसे कारनामे हो रहे हैं, और आप रजाई ओढ़ के सो रहे हैं। राहुल गांधी आज जो भी हे वो पुरखो की वजह से हे ओर अरविन्द केजरीवाल जो भी हे वो मुरखो की वजह से है। 1. अडवानी उस फूफा की तरह नाराज़ है, जिसको बारात में कार की जगह, बस में बिठा दिया गया हो 2. इस देश में दो चीजें ऐसी है जिनकी आजकल कोई नहीं सुनता एक आकाशवाणी दूसरा आडवाणी । 3.जसवंत सिह जी नोकिया के उस मोबाइल के जैसे हैं जिसके ज़माने तो लद गए पर अपनी बैट्री लाइफ की मिसाल देते हुए वो मैदान छोड़ने को राज़ी नहीं है !!!! 4. साथ ही इन दिनों मोदी को फँसाने के चक्कर में काँग्रेस की हालत उस बावली बहू जैसी हो गयी है जो अपने ससुर से पर्दा करने की जल्दबाजी में चुनरी की जगह घाघरे से अपना मुँह ढक लेती है । 5.केजरीवाल को यदि बाथरूम में भी ज्यादा देर लगती है तो बाहर से दरवाजा खटखटाकर बीवी पूछती है- फ्रेश हो रहे हो या धरने पर बैठे हो । इस मेसेज को दो ग्रुप में भेजिए और देखिये कि जैसे ही ये दुसरे ग्रुप में जाएगा आपके फ़ोन में एक गाना बजने लगेगा जो की पूरी तरह से आपको डेडिकेट होगा...... Forward this and listen beautiful song..!!!!! I

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

0 Adverse effects of using a ladies toilet !!!!

A Guy🏃 in a hurry used the
ladies toilet🚺 in a posh
hotel..

He sat down🚽 and
noticed four buttons -
🔺WW, 🔺WA, 🔺PP & 🔺APR...

Curious, he pressed 🔺WW &
his butt was gently
sprayed🚿 with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much..!!

He then pressed 🔺WA & a
blast of WARM AIR💨 dried
him up. Still loving it😃...,

He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF💭 to make him
smell fresh.
Feeling pampered😊..,

He decided to press the last button APR.

He later woke up in a
hospital🏥

A 👩Nurse smiled & said to
him  "Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER.

Your balls are in the jar
over there.."😱

Don't laugh alone share it with friends!! 😆😆😆😆

0 Best Message at the last moments of the year 2014 !!!

Few hours left of this year.

😃Thanks to those who hated me, they made me a stronger person.
😃Thanks to those who loved me, they made my heart bigger.
😃Thanks to those who were worried about me, they let me know that they actually cared.
😃Thanks to those who left me, they made me realize that nothing lasts forever.
😃Thanks to those who entered my life, they made me who i'm today.
Just want to Thank you all for being there in my life!! 😄🙏

0 Best joke for working People's! !!!

Best joke for working people
❤A true Fact of Private Job Life❤👍

Sick Employee's wife - Please consult veterinary doctor this time if you want to be fine 😡

Hubby - Why is that ?? 😳

Wife -
Daily morning 🌞 you get up early like hen.... 🐓

Run to the office like a horse...🐎

Work whole day like a donkey...🐴

Get information from here and there like Fox and prepare report...🐺

DANCE on boss's orders like monkey...🐒

Come home and bark on the family like dog....🐕

And then eat like buffalo and sleep...🐃

Now tell me which normal doctor can treat you!!!!

😝🙏😂🐒🐴🐘🐃🐓🐕🐂🐈..

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